How to have an authentic Chilean adventure ...
Step 1: Forgo the US$60 per person fee for an organized tour to see Santiago´s rural mountain pueblos.
Step 2: Wake up early enough, pre-dawn, to make a breakfast that absorbs the one or two too many Pisco Sours from the night before. Fried bread from a vendor for 20 cents is a good start.
Step 3: Take the subway as far away from the city center as possible. Plus, it`s the opposite direction of the commuters. Disembark the metro, walk to the bus terminal and stand with your mouth agape trying to figure out which bus, one of hundreds, might possibly get you to the right spot. Remember, you have no map - just a bottle of water, a swimsuit, two apples, sunscreen and high hopes for some sort of a rustic adventure. You`re doing it sans tour guide afterall, so it`s bound to be fun.
Step 4: After less than an hour with no hope of figuring out the right mode of transportation, ask someone.
Step 5: Decide to fork out the 9,000 pesos (US$18) for a car ride to some city that is supposedly partway to your final destination, Lo Valdes. Remember, you have no map.
Step 6: When the driver says with a frown "Poco dinero" as you hand him the pre-decided 9,000 pesos, look to your companion. Offer another 1,000 pesos, and refuse when the driver asks for 10,000 more. You`re tired of getting ripped off by the locals after all.
Step 7: Ask at the police station to use the baño. But BYOTP. Few bathrooms supply either toilet paper or soap.
Step 8: Ask the one-toothed, weather-faced local the best way to continue on to Lo Valdes. Then stand in the road and wiggle your thumb just as you were instructed. Gladly oblige when Marcelo stops his dump truck to take you the 25 or so kilometers on the non-paved street. It takes an hour. And be sure to wear a sports bra - it`s a buuuumpy ride. Note that you are riding through a beautiful valley surrounded by sky-high Andes peaks, some still with snow spatterings amidst the jagged rocks and green patches.
Step 9: Hike the 1 km to the German refugio and ask where it is you can rent a horse to take to the termas (hot springs). Mr. Rugged-I-live-here-in-desolation-all-year-round-and-rip-on-skis-through-this-incredible-terrain makes a phone call and tells you to hike another 2 km to Baños Morales (the next "town" over) and meet Nano and the caballos (horses) that will take you winding through the mountains to some off-the-beaten track hot springs.
Step 10: Note that the guide speaks no English and gives no instructions on how to command your horse. Also note that he is wearing long sleeves, a wool sweater and is carrying a down jacket. Remind yourself to always come prepared.
Step 10: Try to enjoy the experience, despite the fact that riding a horse is nothing like your 10-year-old body remembers it. And the views from the rocky single-track lead your mind to visions of your horse trying to knock you into the ravine. Plus, you don´t remember ever being allergic to farm animals.
Step 11: Endure the discomfort for more than an hour or so, watching your fingers turn white, then ask how much further. "Un hora mas," Nano replies. Swallow your pride, your desire to check out the hot springs, remember that you have some idiotic circulation problem called Reynaud´s, and ask to turn around.
Step 12: Keep an eye out for wild horses, mountain goats, and later on the drive home, an ostrich farm.
Step 13: Hours later disembark the horse and practice walking again. It`s as though you may have forgotten. Head back towards the "main road" and hitch with the next semi truck driver, and then again in the back of the German badass`s pickup. Catch the bus, then the subway and arrive back at your hostel many hours later amazed that you were less than 60 miles outside the city but managed quite the day´s adventure.
Step 14: Sleep for just less than a dozen hours.
- JMH, Photos by AGC (Joanna`s memory card was eaten by an Argentine computer virus)
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